Today is kinda tough. I didn’t sleep well last night.. maybe it had to do with me staying up until all hours of the morning. It is still hard, I don’t know what I expect? I mean it has barely been two days since it happened. I guess I expect a drastic change.. like I will suddenly get over her. however.. I know that is impossible. I look at all the pictures I have, all the letters and I am scared to read them.. to gaze at them.. I know it will hurt.. I really don’t understand.. On a different not, I feel kinda lame talking to this webpage. especially when everyone has the oppurtunity to look at it. whatever… I dare you to look at it..