it isn’t hard per se. it is just rough. it is called Into That Darkness. it is about the Franz Stangl the commandant of treblinka. When I first started reading the book - I thought “oh.. I can handle this.. it won’t be rought.. I have read about this stuff before.” little did I know..
i think what is hard for me to understand is how workers at the extermination camps seemed to rationalize the killing. I can see how a government can get fucked up enough to start killing. I can see how a group can get misguided enough to start killings.. but I can’t understand how the people who worked there.. who were just “doing there jobs.” those people I do not get. it is totally confusing and baffeling. I also do not understand - why at the extermination camps.. they had to maintain the charade that they were not actually extermination camps to the people coming in to be exterminated. I understand why they needed to do this at first.. you can’t have people just coming off of the trains to die. you had to organize them and what not. . but why did they have to dehumanize them and such. heh. of course.. I am not the first to ask this. heh. nor will I be the last.

i hope this never happens again.