so.. my cold is incredibly strange
Posted on Sep 23, 2003
today I coked myself up on cold medicine and pain killers and made it to work on time.. did work fine.. maybe a little less conscious.. but for the most part fine. and as soon as I got home I crashed like a drunk driver. I guess that makes since. but now at 1 in the morning I am wired off my head and listening to classic rock. all I want to do is sleep. seriously. nothing else. but no. stupid god took sleep from me when he stole my heart. stupid god.
so I am working on the perfect cocktail of cold medicine to keep me alert and full of work. it is kinda fun. except I am totally unable to maintain sanity while engaging in said cocktail. so far it is just vitamins, sudafed and some painkillers. also a little tiny bit of journey. I think that is the key. steve perry is healing my broken heart. stupid god.
i love sick based insomnia. I totally went to bed two hours ago. laid around miserable for 50 minutes. woke up insane. watched american chopper (the best show - seriously. I love it) and now am using my computer. I already signed off and said my goodnights once. stupid god.
i need a severe life change - maybe a motorcycle.. or a new car.. or a condo.. or whatever. something.
i miss the days when I cared about the news.. like when I thought my opinioned mattered. it is interesting how seemingly follwoing the democratic process and calling my representative, voting in local ellections, and educating myself about the political climate and situation has destroyed all possible drive in my mind about politics. don’t get me wrong. it am still interested. I just don’t care to call a representative who is just going to give me to an underpaid, bored aid who doesn’t really care either. or why vote when the condidate you elect ends up not listening.. or my pay attention when you just see MAJOR injustices that nobody else seems to see.. - really though.. it hurts calling your representative and not getting through.. but I will still call. just with less enthusiasm - and voting.. of course I will vote. but with a VERY cynical mind.. and paying attention.. obviously others are as well.. but seriously.. does anybody in middle america besides the people who are just like me realize that bush is completely insane????
this all could be delerium talking.