this is a long entry

heh. I wish I really was a darksider. I have had some really weird dreams the past couple days. first I had a dream I was in a bad place. the place was a bed and the other person in the bed didn’t want me there but I couldn’t leave - so I was attempting to stay on the edge of the bed the whole night. it was an incredibly strange dream - I imagine that a dream analysis person would have a hayday. haha.
the next one was this morning - I dreamt that I had a gun. like I bought a gun or just acquired it. I loaded it and learned how to use it - at work. but the gun took batteries. I remember unloading and loading it over and over again. and my coworker showed me how to make sure no bullets were in it. what makes it weird was that I thought “wow - I have an illegal gun, cuz I don’t have a foid card.” wtf. why is that important - I usually don’t worry so much about dreams and laws. so my battery gun was a bit entertaining. in the dream I thought about how to introduce it to my roomies and where to keep it. I felt more secure.
the next dream was when I feel asleep on the train comign to work. it was about a stage show where I am able to perceive what people say without listening to them. so I am tied up and my ears are plugged very well. and my friend mark was the lead guy - and he explained the trick and got a volunteer. the volunteer came up on stage and shot mark in the face, killed me and then killed himself. I woke up around this part - but continued to entertain the dream for awhile and wondered what the audience would do. weird. I woudl probably run.

i have been representing my bad self on that nyc juggling b board. someday they will realize that I can ownzer them. hah.

it has been a nice time hanging out with morgan. it is weird - cuz I don’t really date people. and when I find myself dating someone - I am like “wtf” - it rules. apparently she has nicknamed me future man, which is a name I have wanted to be called for YEARS. years I tell you. finally someone understand my time disjointed-ness.

i have been reading incessently. I think it is obviously a guilty vouyeristic pleasure. I mean.. why else woudl you read a bunch of peoples confessions for incredibly fucked up stuff. it is madness. but it makes me wonder about how the internet is shaping our youth. an aweful lot of the posts reference an age which I would say is too yougn to experience advanced drug and sex abuse. but these youth are channeling their feelings and thoughts into this site. I also know that a lot of youth are using blogs much the same way. combine this style of site, blogs and then the webcam culture and you have completely destroyed the contemporary idea of privacy. I really wonder what privacy will be like whn I have children. I konw it won’t be weird to have security cameras logging everything all over a house, this will of course be logged to a network - which will run most media. so the entire house will be unprivatized (ha). Haxor kids will be able to watch there parents do drugs and attempt to hide it. the parents will use the technology but not understand it. a whoel new genre of porn will appear.. wait this is completely different than the topic I was talkign about. I guess my queston is: what will the face of the next generation be like - when they grow up with the potential for millions of people to participate in their life - adn thus negating any traditional sense of privacy?
i have no idea - but when I talk to someone who has blogged as long as I have but they are 5 years younger - I think their personality is altered. I am interested to see the kids who grow up on blogs. who are blgged about as babies - who blog to grandma in school. how will they react to government regulating privacy. will they react. will privacy exist. am I a dork? these are all questions I want to know.

better watch out.

i want to either: goto law school and do tech. law, goto grad school and study sociology and community networks, do mobile computing stuff, or not do anything and remain where I am. none of that will happen soon. but I shoudl plan - I suppose.

hmm. I am glad I am over my blogging funk. I feel a bit more open. I think I might start bearing my soul. hah. lies. I will not. but I will addict everyone to blogs. check out morgan’s new blog and also check out boone’s blog. also check out my newish site: - it isn’t quite how I imagined but it works.

i need to upgrade my servers so bad. is becomign a bane to my existence. last night I resized all the old images down to 640x480 and saved around 600mb. what the hell was I thinking. I also posted the madfest pictures. I will post video later. especially now that I have 600mb free. be sure and check out marcus monroes chainsaw injury