tonight was one of those times. where it all makes semse but it didn’t make anything better or easier. only harder. but it will get better. I know it. in fact I feel better already about this one than I did about the last time. hah. so I guess I am a free agent. which I am not relaly happy about. I don’t want to be a free agent. stupid agents. but I do think that this decision will lead to a better place for both morgan and myself. I just feel that soemtimes shit gets harder than I like it to. especially when relationships get ill.

i hate breaking up. more than almost anything else. it is sad

maybe I will buy a bike tomorrow. and ride it. maybe I will sleep all day and ignore my life for a second. I really want something to work out. it has been a really tough couple days. just something go right for a second. that is all I ask. maybe imap fixing itself woudl do it. but whatever. at this point I am not picky.

i could probably use a hug. or a pop. a hug would be better.