it has and it will be. ghosts in my eyes

the last couple days have been pretty weird. I didn’t feel like posting at all. which is in itself pretty different. usually I post as a decompression activity - or because I want to say something. however in the last couple days I have really felt that my motivations for posting on my ‘blog’ were not exactly legit. hah. they were not really illegal - just not necessarily in the same vein as the motivations that usually power a post. so I think I have accompolished my fears or whatever and am now able to post. heh.

the microphones are incredibly good. I enjoy them immensely.

this weekend was pretty good. friday - me and some coworkers found ourselves engaged in debaucherous exercises at the hard rock hotel bar. heh. some friends of mine work there and I go to visit them. heh. which is really silly. I could visit them at many other less expensive places. hah. but whatever. we went and hung out there until around 7:30 or 8. which in turn made me rather intoxicated. so I went home and got dinner with hiromi, hilary, and hiromi’s friend katie. it was fun. the pitcher of margaritas did not help our cause. after dinner - matiss and I walked/ran to the movie theatre and watched kill bill 2. it was nice. then courtney came over and we all chilled. and welcomed a very drunk hiromi home. hah. it was very humorous. I went to bed. at 6. after playing computer.

the next day I slept as I haven’t in weeks. well that is a lie. but I ended up sleeping until around 4:30 or 5. which was something I had sorta not done for quite awhile. it was exactly what I wanted to do. as soon as I woke up. I started helping my friend with her homework. eep. I miss learning. well I miss the structured learning experience. I haven’t engaged in it in oh so long. helping her was quite funny - the first time I got out my old books in quite a few years. really the first time I have installed any development software on my desktop - which is kind of weird. after 12. I went out and met brock at the hideout. for some insane reason we went back to the hard rock hotel and saw aaron djing. it is such a poor venue. brock and I just sat there drinking beers and getting hit on by older suburb women. not really what I am looking for ;) after that we went to iggys and had food. good food. then I went to a party. I really attempted to go home. but jordan and ayca kept calling. so I went to this ghetto party and hung out with soem friends. it was pretty fun. good music. good peeps. apparently there is some good yoyo footage. I left rather abrubtly. I just felt like I needed to go home. so I did. and then I stayed up til 6, played computer. went to bed.

sunday I slept quite a bit. woke up. played computer. hung out. went and saw tracy and the plastics. then took the bus home.

i think what is weird - is the residule feelings that come an go like aftershocks from an earthquake. it is so weird. it is kinda annoying. they just lead to irrationality. and situations of unconfidence. I hate those things more than almost anyhthing else. it puts me in a such a weird place. but it is so brief. whatever. I hate it.

i am excited to goto india. kinda scared. I have never traveled extensively by myself. and I don’t have any idea how to prepare for this trip. no idea. what to bring or whatever.

i apparently also like inserting periods in the middle of sentences.

i want to bring a camera. and malaria medicine. that is about it so far. my travel doctor told me I need to wear light colored clothes. hah. I don’t have any light colored clothes. seriously. I have like.. umm.. one pair of white socks. heh. but I imagine it will go well. and if not.. if I am shanked in the parking lot.. so be it I guess. ;)

all morning my friend scott and I have been arguing about lil-jon. heh. he alleges that lil-jon is trash. I say lil-jon is awesome. we tied.

i suddenly realized that I am leaving in barely 2 weeks. wtf.

recently I have had a couple people respond to my blog. it is interestig when I hear feedback. regardless of what it is. the most recent occurance came from my friend callie who said she read it all. heh. awesome. she was relaly nice and said nice things. it was weird however. cuz I forget that my life is so transparently laid out for all. it totally makes me wonder about hte sanity of it all. the other occurance of feedback was from a guy in the bloggers meetign I went to. he said that it scared him. haha. that ruled. I enjoy blogging and probably won’t stop. it is mine. all mine. I rule.

RULE!